Princess Series – Bang For Your Books

Title: Red Hood’s Revenge
Author: Jim C. Hines
Book in the Series: Book 3 in the Princess Series
Page Number: pg 243, first bang in the present tense by a main character and it’s gay so that’s a thing
Scale Of Realistic Detail: 2, as is usual with this author there is no real description of the sex itself, just a statement that it’s happening and that one of the other characters can smell it which is kinda weird.
Is Anyone Involved A Virgin?: No, they’re reunited lovers so even though we don’t know anything else we know they’ve been banging before.
Is Anyone Involved A Magical Creature?: No. One is a fairy cursed human which is pretty close but no dice.
Is It Consensual: Yep, although it’s kinda awkward since one of them is gravely injured. Like seriously, you couldn’t wait until other characters stopped commenting on whether or not the injured one might die to bang?
Is It A Plot Device: No, just a dirty little footnote. The closest it gets to plot is trying to add some drama into the mix by hinting at jealousy by a straight character at the lesbian couple who are banging.
Kinks Involved: Lesbians (note: I’m counting this as a kink specifically because of how the author frames it. I seriously think he’s got something since he keeps putting lesbians in everything but he seems to not understand how to write them as anything other than a gimmick)
Bangs Per Book: 1
Did You Feel Dirty For Reading This?: Yep. It’s just getting worse. I’ve enjoyed other books by Jim C. Hines but this series is killing me. The problems with awkward lesbian tropes are getting worse and the potential jealousy subplot is really cringey. The author has noted in exposition that the country that the “jealous” straight friend comes from is homophobic which would be something that you could build a deeper emotional story off of if this was actually leading toward her examining her own sexuality but, sadly we just get a lot of drama with no substance and a quick “it’s totally not like that I just don’t want to be the only single one in the group”. I don’t expect depth from this author, his books are fun, fast, and very fantastical (realism has to go sit on the bench while the characters play which is great in fantasy but even the relationships between the characters are unrealistic), I just wish there was some because with even a little bit more understanding on the author’s part the pieces that are making me uncomfortable with how exploitive they feel could be used to examine the world and the characters more and raise the work up as a whole. But what do I know? I’m just a weirdo who’s counting how much they bang.

Title: The Mermaid’s Madness
Author: Jim C. Hines
Book in the Series: Book 2 of the Princess series
Page Number: 173 for first mention of banging in hindsight 176 for mention of actual banging
Scale Of Realistic Detail: 0 for multiple reasons, 1 it’s mermaids, 2 this author gets a little bit too into it when describing female sexuality and it’s always a little hot and heavy handed.
Is Anyone Involved A Virgin?: No
Is Anyone Involved A Magical Creature?: Everyone involved in the actual banging instead of just reminiscing about banging is a mermaid. The author does point out rather bluntly that the characters are expecting a mermaid orgy and we get a very brief and strangely chaste description of one.
Is It Consensual: Yes? I mean they’re all responding to pheromones in the water that make them want to bang but they seem to all be consenting.
Is It A Plot Device: Oddly enough yes, the characters have to swim through the area during the mermaid orgy so the mermaids are distracted and don’t catch them.
Kinks Involved: Fish?
Bangs Per Book: Like the other books by this author there is little banging but a lot of sexual innuendo and characters thinking about past sexual experiences. So maybe 2 for mentions of banging during the mermaid orgy and you can probably throw in another 2 for characters talking about past experiences for a total of 4ish.
Did You Feel Dirty For Reading This?: Yes, but not because of overly sexual content. It was dirty like touching something that had juice spilled on it days ago and wasn’t cleaned up, sticky grimy and slightly unpleasant. There are strong female characters but they are overly sexualized without actually giving them agency over their sexuality. Also, there’s the big elephant in the room of the author’s habit of sticking lesbians and bisexual female characters into his books. I love when there is queer representation within the main characters in fiction but, his depictions of them can be problematic for instance making the storyline with the only gay character in this series revolve around her being secretly in love with her very straight best friend and occasionally eyeing her and getting aroused in situations where they have to be naked because the plot says so. I need to go wash the juice off my soul.